”mhm.” [break][break]

at one time, being here had made her nervous. now, it was a place of comfort. a very occasional stop.[break][break]

she leaned with her elbows on the bar, idly taking in the familiar surroundings. perhaps surprisingly, she wouldn’t be doing the full crawl, so she was more than willing to splurge on a few drinks right there.[break][break]

the signature drink was ordered, in spirit of gavin’s mission for the evening. perhaps a presumptuously, then, she added, ”and two shots of tequila, thanks.”[break][break]

once they were delivered, she set one in front of him.[break][break]

”oh, you know.” her eyes flicked up at his, all the stress of the present pulled into a look of humorous resignation. ”it’s been.”[break][break]

a pause, and she picked up her shot, motioning for him to take his with her. ”i think we should probably change our word.”

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

”no. i’m trying to get me drunk, and i’m enlisting you as my support because you happen to be here.” when he took the shot, she smiled a little. ”much appreciated.”[break][break]
the shots went down and she nudged the empty glass back across the bar.[break][break]
was living something to celebrate? maybe. she wasn’t entirely sure. perhaps it would have been better if they’d just died, but then, it was game over. nothing left to discover, except, presumably, the abysmal afterlife.[break][break]
somewhere along the way to meteno, she had decided that wasn’t what she wanted anymore.[break][break]
”because it’s everywhere.”[break][break]
snow.[break][break]
”i suggested the word because it wouldn’t be a common topic in hoenn. but now…” people were snowboarding. ”it almost feels like home here.”[break][break]
her face scrunched a little at the word. it wasn’t quite right. not home. never really home. too empty. yet, in her brother’s presence, there was a sense of history and belonging that brought about the word. circhester was still a part of her.

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

court made lulu’s skin crawl for another reason. she’d been to court, a few times before being tossed into a cage for a couple of years. but it was an easy word to sneak into conversation, safely effective with the right inflection or eye contact. it would work.[break][break]

it was also a reminder of home. her eyes lingered on his briefly before she took up her drink. ”court works.” she tested a sip, set it back down.[break][break]

”have you ever thought about visiting?” home. their parents.

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

the way his fingers stilled, she could sense the shift. the prickling she’d caused, instantly regretting the suggestion. their experiences at quinn court had been different. she’d watched from the shadows, not damaged in quite the same way he’d been.[break][break]

however, no one had seemed to care how perceptive she was. how she’d known what was happening, and the cruelty her brother had faced. that helplessness had created something dark and powerful within her, not unleashed until much later.[break][break]

she was quiet at his initial words, eyes returning to her drink. it was his question that made her heart sink into her stomach. she looked back over, searching his gaze for intention.[break][break]

”what?” her voice was soft. she’d heard him, of course.[break][break]

if there was one thing saiorse knew, it was the need for revenge. cillian had yet to get his, so who was she to step in his way? besides, their parents had ever noticed her to begin with. there was no relationship to lose. they thought she was dead, anyways.[break][break]

her eyes drifted away again as she thought, doing her best not to take too long with an answer.[break][break]

”no,” she finally said simply, face like a steel fortress as she took a deep sip of her drink.[break][break]

and something in her gut told her he would do just that. why would he ask such a sick question, otherwise?

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

but…[break][break]

the word hung there, and she was glad when he didn’t finish that sentence—but not for the one that came after. anything but that.[break][break]

her eyes fell to the glass in her fingers, and then she eyed down the bartender and nodded for another shot, because she was going to need it.[break][break]

”no.”[break][break]

her stare cut over to him again. where her tone had been light before with shock, this one was heavy, thick with years of knowing.[break][break]

”never a day in my life.”

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

it was surprising—at first. then, it seemed obvious. gavin had tried so hard to live up to expectations. the idea that their parents had believed in him in some way, presumably, had been enough for a time. cruelty could feel like love. she knew that much.[break][break]

emptiness pooled like a shadow in her eyes. vague, solemn. after taking another sip, she began quiet as she’d used to be, ”i wasn’t blind, you know.”[break][break]

it was followed up with only silence for a long moment, almost as though she was hesitating to continue. regretting it already.[break][break]

”how could i have ever loved them with the way they treated you?”

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

it was rattling to hear those words, i love you. it would be the second time ever. her face fell, unable to hide discomfort and uncertainty. last time, there’d been privacy. she’d been almost too drunk to remember the conversation anyways.[break][break]
but she did remember that part. how could she have forgotten?[break][break]
the more he said, the more she felt old pain ball up in a lump in her throat and in her chest.[break][break]
”i’m never going to tell anyone.”[break][break]
not when she knew she had the potential to make so many more enemies, and harbored so much guilt already.[break][break]
”my boyfriend was killed in galar after i was released. if they hadn’t known he was close to me, that wouldn’t have ever happened. that’s why it matters, that people don’t know. about you, or rowan.”[break][break]
her brow furrowed, confused.[break][break]
”why do you not care now?” a pause. ”were you just ashamed of me before?”

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]